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25 of the Most Iconic Drinking Quotes

25 of the Most Iconic Drinking Quotes

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"I feel bad for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

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"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."

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"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."

Source: Public Domain / Wikimedia Commons

"Why do I drink champagne for breakfast? Doesn't everyone?"

Source: Photo by Evening Standard/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

"I drink to make other people more interesting."

Source: Public Domain / Wikimedia Commons

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy."

Source: Public Domain / Wikimedia Commons

"I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday."

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"Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life."

Source: Public Domain / Wikimedia Commons

"One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough."

Source: Public Domain / Wikimedia Commons

"I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."

Source: Public Domain / Wikimedia Commons

"I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming."

Source: Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images

"I don't have a drinking problem 'cept when I can't get a drink."

Source: Public Domain / Wikimedia Commons

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

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"I drink to forget, but I never forget to drink."

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"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."

Public Domain / Wikimedia Commons

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."

Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images

"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink."

Public Domain / Wikimedia Commons

"What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for."

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"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

Photo by Evening Standard/Getty Images

"I only drink Champagne when I'm happy, and when I'm sad. Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone. When I have company, I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I'm not hungry and drink it when I am. Otherwise, I never touch it – unless I'm thirsty."

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Public Domain / Wikimedia Commons

"There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne."

Public Domain / Wikimedia Commons

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Public Domain / Wikimedia Commons

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

Public Domain / Wikimedia Commons

"Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life."

Photo by Fox Photos/Getty Images

"I feel bad for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."
"Why do I drink champagne for breakfast? Doesn't everyone?"
"I drink to make other people more interesting."
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy."
"I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday."
"Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life."
"One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough."
"I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
"I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming."
"I don't have a drinking problem 'cept when I can't get a drink."
"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
"I drink to forget, but I never forget to drink."
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink."
"What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for."
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
"I only drink Champagne when I'm happy, and when I'm sad. Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone. When I have company, I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I'm not hungry and drink it when I am. Otherwise, I never touch it – unless I'm thirsty."
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne."
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
"Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life."

What is it about alcohol that lends itself so perfectly to quotable wisdom? Let's raise a glass and ponder that over a couple of beers. Throughout the years, it seems like everyone – from Benjamin Franklin to the regular Eddie at the local dive bar – has offered up some sort of witticism about drinking booze. We've rounded up 25 of the most legendary quotes on the subject.

While alcohol is undoubtedly a drug with countless negative health effects, it's also an unparalleled social lubricant. Booze brings people together, makes parties fun, and allows us to unwind and enjoy a good time. And when we're having a grand ol' time, we naturally want to capture and share that joyous spirit through words – hence, the abundance of great drinking quotes over the ages.

Sure, there are plenty of quotes about everything from sports to politics to the workplace. But the ones centered on drinking seem to have an unmatched longevity and humorous flair. Some you'll instantly recognize as familiar favorites, while others are lesser-known gems. Some were uttered by legendary wits, while the minds behind other quotes have been lost to time.

But the next time you get together with your friends for a pint or two, keep these in mind and you're bound to get a couple of laughs, especially if you live in a state where people drink the most alcohol — these are the drunkest states in the U.S.

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