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31 Hilarious Quips About Work That Will Make You Laugh

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31 Hilarious Quips About Work That Will Make You Laugh

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"No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early."

Source: Uncredited for The Times Democrat &/or the Four Marx Brothers Mr Green's Reception Vaudeville company., Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

"I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday."

Source: fizkes/Shutterstock

"The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.")

Source: Summit Art Creations / Shutterstock.com

"I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."

Source: ENERGY.GOV, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

"An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault."

Source: Crowell-Collier Publishing Company, photograph by Ralph Crane, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

"Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done."

Source: fizkes / Shutterstock.com

"The reward for good work is more work."

Source: CeltStudio / Shutterstock.com

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."

Source: Fred Palumbo, World Telegram staff photographer, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"

Source: Unknown photographer, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant."

Source: GROGL / Shutterstock.com

"Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow."

Source: GBJSTOCK / Shutterstock.com

"As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement."

Source: FluxFactory / Getty Images

"Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil — and you'll never get a job working for a tabloid."

Source: LarryBroom, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

"My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work."

Source: Alexander-design, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

"Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done."

Source: tomertu / Shutterstock.com

"The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen."
"When in doubt, look intelligent."

Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar."

Ron Bennett--HUD, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

Uuganbayar / Shutterstock.com

"Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work."

insta_photos / Shutterstock.com

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."

National Portrait Gallery, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

"If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'"

MangoStar_Studio / Getty Images

"I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying."

tommaso79 / Getty Images

"Getting paid to sleep… that's my dream job."

ViDI Studio / Shutterstock.com

"A baseball game is twice as much fun if you're seeing it on the company's time."

David Lee/Shutterstock

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."

Everett Collection / Shutterstock.com

"When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'"

Bain News Service, publisher, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

"I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity, and dreams."

pathdoc / Shutterstock.com

"Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still?"

RozenskiP / Shutterstock.com

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well neither does bathing. That's why we recommend it daily."

Michele Ursi / Shutterstock.com

"I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around."

SFIO CRACHO / Shutterstock.com

"No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early."
"I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday."
"The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.")
"I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."
"An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault."
"Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done."
"The reward for good work is more work."
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"
"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant."
"Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow."
"As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement."
"Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil — and you'll never get a job working for a tabloid."
"My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work."
"Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done."
"The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen."
"When in doubt, look intelligent."
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar."
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
"Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work."
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
"If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'"
"I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying."
"Getting paid to sleep… that's my dream job."
"A baseball game is twice as much fun if you're seeing it on the company's time."
"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."
"When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'"
"I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity, and dreams."
"Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still?"
"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well neither does bathing. That's why we recommend it daily."
"I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around."

There are days when you wake up naturally instead of to the sound of a blaring alarm. These are the days when you get out of bed feeling energized, and you're excited for what's to come. They're called days off. The rest of the time, you're just reminding yourself why you have to make it to work before you begrudgingly hit the shower and get ready for the day. It's not always like this, of course. Sometimes you really love your job. But working with others who have different opinions, different ways of handling conflict, and whose worldview differs from yours presents a daily challenge.

To put this list of work expressions together, 247 Tempo scoured the net, reviewing sites where people love to unleash their uncensored thoughts, like Reddit. There is no shortage of sayings about work to relate to and something is comforting in knowing you're not the only one who feels this way. These hilarious expressions about work make you feel seen, even if you're reading this hidden inside your corner cubicle (with your screen angled just right so your boss can't see what you're doing).

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