8 Funeral Customs Fading From American Life

For generations, funerals in America were deeply personal, family-centered events. Loved ones often prepared the body, hosted wakes at home, and relied on neighbors, churches, and local communities to help with burial arrangements. Over time, those customs gave way to a more formal funeral industry, with embalming, viewing rooms, polished caskets, and professionally managed services becoming the standard.

Now, many of those familiar practices are changing again. Families are looking for simpler, more affordable, more personal, or more environmentally friendly ways to say goodbye. At the same time, some traditions that once felt like a normal part of American mourning are becoming much less common. In this 24/7 Tempo slideshow, we look at eight funeral customs that are slowly fading from American life and why they are being replaced.

Death industry specialists, Endly, have found that more than half of all those who have died in the past few years have opted for a cremation burial instead of the more traditional embalming, wake, and funeral. The funeral, in and of itself, has started to go out of style in favor of more informal social gatherings to share stories, grieve, and remember our loved ones. In the past, people sometimes prepared for additional social gatherings if they desired to have one to celebrate their life. However, now, this informal social event is the primary event of the deaths of many Gen X and millennials.

There are many reasons one might wish to opt for a funeral-free death proceeding. One is that traditional burial grounds use a massive amount of land and many have called into question the ethics of using so much land for this reason when cremation is now widely available for death proceedings. Additionally, these proceedings can be quite pricey and many millennials and Gen Xers simply lack the appropriate savings necessary to fund such a grand event. Even just purchasing a casket is out of the question for many who are facing death in the 21st century, leaving them no choice but to pursue cremation or a shroud burial if they're looking for a traditional burial.

One of the most poignant parts of dying in the 20th century was the viewing and visitation period. During this time, friends and family could visit with your body and grieve together or alone. However, as the traditional funeral starts to fall by the wayside, so do the viewing and visitation periods of the death proceedings of many modern individuals. After all, with more than half of the deceased choosing cremation, there is simply nobody to view and visit with.

Formal funeral attire is no longer a requirement for the proceedings of many young deceased. In part, again, due to the lack of formal funeral services, there is no need for the grieving to get all dressed up for what will likely amount to an informal gathering of friends and family. While most people still seem to dress in solemn attire, options for darker, neutral colors, and the need to look nice and fancy while you're sobbing and dripping snot everywhere seem to be becoming a thing of the past.

Another thing that has become less prevalent in modern-day death care is the inherent somberness that many older folks associate with funerals. With the traditional funeral portion of death care quickly becoming less prevalent, so too has the somberness that goes along with it. Many young people who die are now opting to throw a "Life Celebration," which takes a less somber approach to death. Instead of mourning for the loss of the person, attendees are encouraged to celebrate and be happy that the person was ever alive to begin with. It's a unique tradition that has a decorated history in many cultures before being adopted by modern Americans.

With cremation being more widely available, more people are choosing to be cremated instead of having a traditional burial ceremony. In the past, the burial ceremony had many parts. First, the casket would be lowered into the gravesite. Then, there would be readings of various prayers and other passages to remember the deceased. After the readings, there would be a short period where friends and family could say their last goodbyes to the deceased, and then the grave would be ceremonially covered to end the event. However, with nobody to bury, these traditions are becoming rarer in the modern day.

Sometimes, friends and family would perform a "burial ceremony" at a crematorium, shortly before the body was cremated. However, many deceased now are going straight into the cremator and forgoing the interpersonal fanfare.

The burial ceremony isn't the only part of the death industry where reading passages for the deceased is seen. It can also be a part of the funeral proceedings along with the eulogies and hymns. While eulogies, prayers, and readings were traditionally a part of several funeral proceedings, they are becoming less common. Additionally, in services that have intentionally removed several parts of the traditional proceedings, there may be a period of eulogies and readings, but it may be shorter than it would have been in the past.

In the modern day, a lot of eulogies and readings take place at informal gatherings meant to celebrate the deceased's life and accomplishments rather than at a dedicated funeral. These get-togethers might have several speakers lined up or simply allow people to share as they desire.

According to statistics from just before the acute stages of the COVID pandemic, non-religious people — atheists, agnostics, and those who identify as "nothing in particular" religiously — accounted for around 23% of all deaths. With the number of religiously non-affiliated people rising in America, there are more options than ever to have a non-religious death proceeding.

Many people are forgoing the church procession and readings by priests. While religiously affiliated ceremonies still comprise the majority of death industry ceremonies, the number of non-religious ceremonies and options therein has increased greatly since the inception of the death industry in the 19th century.

The death industry is seeing a change in the way people view memorialization. In the 20th century, much of the memorialization process was undertaken by the funeral home/parlor and the funeral director. The services were packages that offered little customization despite how expensive they were. The modern view in America is strongly toward personalized experiences. Young people are willing to put serious money behind a project if it feels personalized to their needs and expectations. This mentality has even extended into death care, where modern people are paying more for "DIY" death care services, where they can create the event they envision their loved ones appreciating.

There has also been a marked return to 19th-century funeral traditions, where the funeral is prepared, hosted, and executed primarily by the family of the deceased. These family-led funerals are becoming more common in America, but they have an extensive history in culture with more robust Western historical presences.