With more than 65,000 bars, nightclubs, and taverns in the United States, there are plenty of options for those of us who want to head out to a bar for a night of catching up with friends, dancing, or playing darts and pool. It can be a fun, relaxing way to spend a few hours just unwinding from the week. In years past, there weren’t many options for those that didn’t imbibe. The options today are better than ever, with more and more establishments serving delicious booze-free options, making a bar outing with friends all the more enjoyable.
The most important aspect of a bar is the bartender – that person in control of your drinks that can give you a pleasant experience by how well they concoct your beverages. A great bartender often brings personality and a pleasant energy to the atmosphere. If you like to go out and have a good time, the bartender is your friend, and often confidante – someone you may pour your heart out to while they pour you a drink. (Here’s a list of the best bar in every state.)
Many bartenders also watch out for their patrons. They’ll call an Uber for somebody who’s had one too many; may sometimes be able to defuse potential arguments or fights with practiced diplomacy. or will keep an eye on young drinkers who may not know their limits and might be prey to thieves or sexual predators.
While they might be short with you if they’re busy and don’t have much time to chat – some are naturally more sociable and friendly than others – bartenders are good people. As Craig Finn sings in his song “Bathtub in the Kitchen,” “Francis always said, ‘You gotta befriend the bartenders’ / Told me to tip really big on the opening round.”
24/7 Tempo editors have assembled a list of what you should never do at a bar based on years of personal observation as bar patrons. Most of them involve maintaining a cordial relationship with the bartender. As a general rule, it should always be noted that whether you are out at a bar, a restaurant, or just in public, don’t be a jerk. (As a parallel, here are things you should never order in a restaurant.)
Skimp on the tip
Bartenders work hard and make their income mostly from gratuities. Be generous, and tip 20% or more on the amount you spend, whether it’s just one drink or an evening’s worth of carousing. (If you experience genuinely bad service – not just delays due to a rush of customers – you can always complain to the management. That’s a more efficient tactic than not tipping – a gesture whose meaning will likely be lost on a bad bartender anyway.)
Shout or snap your fingers at the bartender
It may be crowded but the bartender most likely sees you and is just extremely busy taking orders from the few dozen people who may have gotten there first. Snapping your fingers or yelling at the bartender (waving money in the air is even worse) isn’t just rude – it’s almost guaranteed to put you at the back of the line.
Hit on the bartender
Bars are often filled with young people – from the patrons to the staff. Bartenders are typically friendly and great bartenders will often make each customer feel special. This doesn’t mean they want to go home with you. It means they are simply doing their job well.
Tell the bartender to “surprise me”
Many mixologists enjoy sharing their craft with adventuresome patrons, improvising a cocktail for a willing customer. But not every time is right to shake things up. If a bar is crowded, odds are most of them are too busy making regular drinks to stop in the midst of it and get creative.
Change your drink order after the first few seconds
It’s never easy to change an order once it’s been placed. Although it may seem as if your drink is taking a long time, odds are the bartender at a busy bar has already begun making your drink within seconds of your order. Unless you can switch choices within seconds, don’t change your mind. Once you’ve made your choice, stick with it.
Eat the bar snacks
Some fancier bars might offer you a small serving of nuts, wasabi peas, and more – (bars in NYC will even give you free pizza, wings, bread, and more with the purchase of a drink), and that’s great. But avoid the communal bowls of pretzels or peanuts – you often don’t know how fresh or how long they’ve been sitting on the counter.
Ask for a free round
It’s something we all think about – getting a buyback from the bartender at your favorite establishment. Many bartenders will reward their customers with a drink on the house – known as a buyback – especially if you’re nice, have bought a few drinks, or if you’re a regular. While this is certainly appreciated, it isn’t expected and the bartender doesn’t owe you anything.
Ask the bartender to make your drink stronger
If you ask for more, be prepared to pay for more. Most bars have standard measures for the alcohol in their drinks, or at least a bartender who knows how a drink should taste. If you ask for more booze, they may think of this as you ordering a double and will charge you for it.
Insult the bartending profession
Bartending is a part-time job for many people, but increasingly it’s becoming a full-time profession. Many people simply enjoy the work they do and have even taken courses to further their craft. Either way, nothing is demeaning about it, so don’t ask “What’s your real job?” or say “How come a writer/teacher/etc. like you is working here?”
Order a complicated drink at a crowded bar
This one may seem obvious but it’s important to remember that if a bar is crowded, you shouldn’t order a complicated drink. Many bars now offer multi-faceted signature cocktails, and those are fine to order because the bar probably has the makings already set up. Ordering a drink that takes multiple kinds of liquor (like a Long Island Iced Tea) or that requires extra steps (like muddling the mint for a Mojito or Mint Julep) is just thoughtless – to the bartender and the other customers.
Ask to change an ingredient in a house specialty
Speaking of those signature cocktails, someone has taken the trouble to invent an unusual potion, probably putting as much thought into the recipe as the chef does with his creations. You should think twice before you ask to switch out the mezcal for vodka.
Talk about religion, politics, or race
Certain things just shouldn’t be discussed in public settings. Engaging the bartender or those around you – even if they’re your friends – on these potentially incendiary topics will rarely end well. There is a world of other topics to talk about. Sports are always good. Then you can argue about how the Yankees are dominating baseball once more.
Hit on another customer who isn’t receptive
Bars may be a place where a lot of people often go to meet others, flirt, and potentially make a match and this should be a rule not just for the bartender – if it’s pretty clear that the object of your intentions isn’t interested, don’t be a creep. Just enjoy your drink and go home.
Make out with your date (or a willing stranger)
Much like politics, making out with someone shouldn’t be done in public places. There’s a time and a place for everything, and a bar full of people isn’t the appropriate spot for enthusiastic foreplay.
Get overly familiar with the bartender
We may have all gotten particularly friendly with bartenders at some point, chatting them up, sharing stories, and even getting advice but any server should be called by their proper name. He’s not your “pal,” “buddy,” or “amigo.” She’s not your “honey,” “babe,” or “sweetie.”
Ask to transfer your bar tab to your table
Unless it’s the establishment’s policy to transfer the bar tab to your dining bill, as is the case in some restaurants, you should always pay up before you head into the dinner room for dinner – and don’t forget to tip the bartender separately from your new server. It may be more convenient for you to just pay one check for the evening, but the bartender will have worked for you for nothing if you do.
Stand in the service area
We get it. Bars can be crowded. Really crowded. Often, the bar is three or four drinkers deep, and there’s that nice place of nearly vacant real estate down at the end – the one where the servers come to pick up drinks. Stay away. Blocking the service area is like double-parking on a narrow street, and it won’t make you any friends with the bar staff.
Linger on the barstool for too long over one drink
We’ve all been to a bar where seats are at a premium – everyone is standing around waiting for a spot, any spot, to become vacant. You may have been lucky enough to find a place to sit and enjoy your drink but once you are done, you should give someone else a chance to enjoy theirs. Don’t be selfish. It won’t kill you to stand for a while.