The great state of Texas is like a world of its own. The people here are independent. They have their own attitude and don’t want anyone telling them what to do or how to live their lives. The state is so unique that, in many cases, true Texans have a language of their own. In fact, you could come from out of town, walk up to a group, and not understand a word! Don’t worry; you’re still welcome to visit. If you decide to head down to the Lone Star State, you’ll want to have a few sayings up your sleeve, so we have you covered with this list of Texas expressions only Texans understand.
There are many sayings on this list and some you can probably comprehend if you really think about them. We’re talking about slogans and words like “Bless Your Heart” and “Howdy,” which you’ve likely heard elsewhere. However, sayings like, “It’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick,” “Big as Dallas,” and “He’s so busy you’d think he was twins” are a little more unique and are truly Texan. We’ll tell you about these and many more. We’ll explain what they mean so you can start using them in your own conversations.
To find the most unique expressions only Texans understand, 24/7 Tempo talked to real Texas residents and scoured the internet for the most unique of sayings. We found many fascinating sites, including Texas Monthly, MyHighPlains.com, and news organizations like Click2Houston. We think we have found the most unique of all the very unique expressions in the state. Once you’re done learning about Texas terms, turn your attention to the 20 English words that actually come from Irish.
“He’s so busy you’d think he was twins.”
This expression is used by Texans to describe themselves or a friend or family member who is so busy that they barely ever see him. For example, if someone is always working, a friend may say that “he’s so busy you’d think he was twins.” As it implies, it means that he has so much to do that he must have multiplied himself to do it all, but he manages to get it all done.
“All git out”
You’ll typically hear this expression at the end of a sentence. Basically, it means that to an amazing degree or as much as possible. Many times, the expression will be heard when someone is saying how mad someone is: “He’s mad as all git out.” It could also be a reference to the temperature: “It’s hotter’n all git out!”
“If that ain’t a fact, God’s a possum.”
One thing to know about Texans is that they’re very wise, and when they believe something is true, it won’t be easy to convince them otherwise. That’s why there are expressions only Texans understand that show how convinced they are of a fact. So, when they know something that can’t be disputed, they may back it up with “If that ain’t a fact, God’s a possum,” which they know is not true.
“Just fell off the turnip truck.”
This Texas phrase is another way of saying that someone is unsophisticated. “Just fell off the turnip truck” is truly a unique phrase, but you can associate it with similar expressions, like that someone is fresh off of the boat or just not that bright. They’re new to the situation, they’re ignorant, and they’ve got a lot to learn. In other words, the person is a rube.
“He’s got plenty of arrows in his quiver.”
You might hear a Texan make this expression if he is admiring someone who is capable or experienced. Another way of saying this is that someone is a “Jack of all trades.” They can seemingly do it all. This may also be a person that doesn’t give up easily. They have multiple arrows or chances, and they’ll stick to a task until they do it right.
“It’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.”
Texans know how to be optimistic in almost any situation, and while you’ll hear some people say that something is good or suitable, others will mention that “It’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.” As you can imagine, getting poked in the eye with any type of stick would be painful, so the alternative is likely much better.
“A worm is the only animal that can’t fall down.”
If you hear a Texan tell you that “a worm is the only animal that can’t fall down,” that means they’re giving you general advice or a pep talk. The person saying this knows that you are only human and you’ll make mistakes and fall, but you can’t let it get you down. Everyone and most animals can fall down, but they pick themselves up again and give it another try. The only animal that can’t fall is a worm since it’s already on the ground, but you don’t want to be a worm.
“We’ll paint the town and the front porch.”
It’s a celebratory expression that means you’re going to go out and have fun after a significant accomplishment. The phrase “paint the town” isn’t exclusive to Texas. In fact, it’s a portion of the original phrase of “paint the town red,” which means to go out, drink alcohol, dance and have fun. Texans have the longer phrase “We’ll paint the town and the front porch,” and it means that you’re going to have even more fun than other people.
“Big as Dallas.”
This is a Texan expression that means something is large or obvious. While not the largest in the state, Dallas is a big city and one of the older areas in the state, so it has been part of this expression for a long time. Many people in the state also have this slogan on large water bottles and other huge items they may carry around. This is one of the more common unknown expressions in Texas.
“Tight as wallpaper.”
This is a phrase that is about someone who is generally cheap or frugal. As a joke, a Texan might say they are “tight as wallpaper.” This phrase shows its age as fewer homes have wallpaper than they did in the past. For those who don’t know, wallpaper is a wall covering in many older homes, and many Texans may still have it. To look right, wallpaper must be installed firmly and tightly against the wall. So, someone who doesn’t spend much money may be equated to wallpaper.
“The porch light’s on, but no one’s home.”
A Texan might use this phrase if they’re referring to someone who’s crazy or not too bright. When a porch light is on at a house, it generally means the residents are inside. If they were gone, they would turn the porch light off. So, the phrase means that the light is on and the person is functional, but there’s not a lot going on in their brain. You could compare this phrase with another Texas expression: “She’s got too many cobwebs in the attic.”
“He always draws the best bull.”
It’s an expression that basically says that someone is very lucky. Many Texans spend a lot of time on the farm or at the rodeo, either caring for livestock or watching someone who does. They know that not every bull is created equal. Some are stronger than others, so if you always choose the best bull out of the batch, you’re always lucky, even if you don’t mean to be. This phrase could be about a person who literally gets the best bull or is generally fortunate in life.
“She’s got more than she can say grace over.”
In many Texas households, it’s customary to say grace before a meal. You thank the Lord for your food and for all that you’ve been blessed with in your life. When a Texan says “She’s got more than she can say grace over,” it’s a figure of speech, but it means that the person is rich and likely has so much that they would forget some of their blessings while saying grace. It’s a good problem to have, and the hope is that the individual who has a lot will also give back to the community.
“He’s too poor to pay attention.”
This is the opposite of the last expression. This one is kind of a joke, but it means that a person is so poor that they can’t afford to pay for anything, including attention. Of course, the joke is that it doesn’t cost any money to pay attention, but someone with so little couldn’t even do that. There are other humorous Texas expressions about being poor, like “So poor I had a tumbleweed as a pet” and “So poor their Sunday supper is fried water.”
“Hot enough to fry eggs on the sidewalk.”
It gets very hot in many parts of Texas. It’s humid, sticky, and even worse if a cowboy is working on the ranch all day in the direct sunlight. Though this expression may not be a scientific truth, it’s a humorous way of saying it’s so hot that you could cook your breakfast right there on the ground. There are other funny slogans that speak to heat in Texas, including “Hot as a stolen tamale,” “Hot as a two-dollar pistol,” and “Hotter than a fur coat in Marfa.”
“Cold as a banker’s heart.”
While Texas winters aren’t as brutal as the summer months, they can still be cold for a couple of months of the year. When they are, it can be really cold, so many residents have this expression to say. The idea here is that a banker is obsessed with money and is very unlikely to lend anything out. So their hearts are cold, and that’s how freezing the weather is. There are other funny slogans for cold days, including “Cold as a frosted frog” and “Cold as a cast-iron commode.”
“I feel lower than a gopher hole.”
Texans don’t always get sad, but when a true Texan is upset, they’re really upset. When they “feel lower than a gopher hole,” it means they’re lower than low. Gophers are good at digging holes because that’s where they live, and many of those holes are extremely deep, so that’s an extra sad state. There are other unique expressions about being sad, including “I feel so low I couldn’t jump off a dime,” “Sad enough to bring a tear to a glass eye,” and “He looks like the cheese fell off his cracker.”
“He’s knee-high to a grasshopper.”
Texans have a seemingly endless number of expressions for people and items that are small, thin, or frail. One of the best commonly refers to a person: “He’s knee-high to a grasshopper.” As you know, grasshoppers are very tiny, so if someone weren’t even as tall as the insect, they’d be pretty short. There are many other expressions relating to height, including “Half as big as a minute,” “Thin as a gnat’s whisker,” and “So skinny she has to stand twice to make a shadow.”
“Mean as a mama wasp.”
Here’s another of the expressions only Texans understand that compares people to insects. This saying essentially means that someone is mean or bad. A female wasp is very protective of her young, and if the nest is attacked by a person or a predator, she’ll come out and attack. So, a mean person would do the same thing. There are also a ton of Texas expressions that speak about mean people. Other good ones include “He was born sorry,” “Tough as a nickel steak,” and “Friendly as a bramble bush.”
“Faster than a sneeze through a screen door.”
This is one of many phrases that Texans have for something that’s fast, be it a car, person, or anything in between. A screened door has holes, so if someone sneezed in that direction, it would exit fast and keep going. There are other expressions about being fast that are very Texan, including “Quick out of the chute,” “Faster than a prairie fire with a tail wind,” and “Faster than double-struck lightning.” Many Texans also use expressions used elsewhere, like “In a New York minute.”
“Coffee so strong it’ll walk into your cup.”
Texans are known for being strong and independent, and this phrase perfectly describes many of them. In order to do the hard ranch work that many Texans are known to do, they need strong coffee, so this humorous line shows how strong coffee could be if it could actually get up and get into the cup. There are actually many expressions about coffee in Texas, with another being “Coffee so strong it’ll raise a blood blister on a boot.”
“One wheel down and the axle dragging.”
This is an expression that would relate to someone who is very tired. They either woke up tired or have been working all day and are exhausted from their efforts. This phrase refers to a time long ago when wagon travel was common. If you lost a wheel and the axle that held the wheel was dragging on the ground, it would mean that you’re getting nowhere fast. Someone who is extra tired is like that wagon; they’re out of energy.
“As full of pains as an old window.”
There are many Texas phrases that refer to people being sick. That’s likely because Texans work hard, and over time, they can become exhausted. This particular phrase is a play on words, and it’s meant to be humorous. There’s a window pane, and then there are window pains, so this person feels very sick. Other funny sayings about sickness include “So sick he needs two beds” and “Sick as a dog passing peach pits.”
“He could talk the legs off a chair.”
This is one of many expressions only Texans understand that relate to being talkative. Various sayings talk about someone who is so talkative that they’re annoying and sayings about people who are very persuasive when they speak. In the case of “He could talk the legs off a chair,” they’re talking about someone who’s persuasive. There are other variations of this expression, including, “He could talk the gate off its hinges,” “He could talk the hide off a cow,” and “He could talk the ears off a mule.”
“As exciting as a mashed potato sandwich.”
This is one of several expressions that Texans use when they’re referring to something boring. While a sandwich isn’t always the most exciting meal in the world, it can be made better with some crunch. The idea is if you had a mashed potato sandwich, it would be tasteless, bland, and boring. Another phrase you may be more familiar with is “As exciting as waiting for paint to dry.” You could use that expression when talking about any of the most boring TV characters of all time.