30 Ridiculous Laws Around America

No one seems to know where this one came from, and Scott Schwab, the Kansas Secretary of State, told USA Today that it was unclear whether or not the law was still on the books – but that in any case it is not enforced.

In fact, the statute forbids “trading, bartering, buying, selling, or dealing in” newborns. If you just can’t help yourself, however, you might take some solace in the fact that you’d only be guilty of “a misdemeanor in the first degree.”

When a dam burst near Kingman in 1924, a donkey, who had for some reason apparently stepped into an abandoned bathtub and gone to sleep, got swept downstream. The animal was saved by locals, but it became apparent to the community that a law was required to prevent this from happening again. (In South Carolina, a similar law, passed for reasons unknown, bans keeping a horse in a bathtub. They must have pretty big bathtubs down that way.)

It’s not clear why anybody would need a law to keep them from engaging in this particular behavior, but maybe it’s just as well to have it spelled out.

For some reason, this town of about 6,000 residents on the southwestern side of the state found it necessary to officially prohibit tenants from chomping down on their landlord – and they can’t sic their dog or cat or other pet on the property owner either.

The New York Times discovered this prohibition on New Jersey Courts, the official website of the New Jersey judiciary, but the site gives no details on why or when the law was enacted or whether it has ever been enforced. How rude.

Considering several pugnacious events that have taken place recently in the U.S. House of Representatives, maybe this should be a national law: The Tennessee Constitution bars anyone from public office if they have fought in a duel, delivered or accepted a challenge to fight a duel, or serve as “an aider or abettor in fighting a duel.”

Passed in 1953, this law states that “No person or persons at least 16 years of age shall while wearing a mask, hood or device whereby the person, face or voice is disguised so as to conceal the identity of the wearer, hold any manner of meeting, or make any demonstration upon the private property” without permission. The law is said to have been passed to forestall activities by the Ku Klux Klan.

If you engage in “a match or contest between one or more persons and a bear for the purpose of fighting or engaging in a physical altercation,” or if you charge admission to a bear fight or buy, sell, or train a bear for combat, you “shall be fined not more than five hundred dollars or imprisoned for not more than six months, or both.”

A local ordinance in the Windy City makes it illegal to display or sell “living baby chicks, ducklings, goslings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed, colored or otherwise treated so as to impart to them an artificial color.”

This town in northern Georgia is the center of a billion-dollar-a-year chicken industry, and styles itself “The Poultry Capital of the World.” They know their yardbirds, then, so people had better listen when they say – as they did in an official city proclamation in 1961 – that you have to eat fried chicken with your hands, no utensils allowed.

Hunters who kill a moose or a caribou in the state can’t just eat the steaks and chops and ribs. The Alaska Administrative Code required that “the head, heart, liver, kidneys, stomach and hide of moose” and “the heart, liver, kidneys, and fat of caribou” must be salvaged, and all edible meat must be used for human consumption.

The law is part of a broader measure to combat Sunday gambling in Alabama out of respect for those attending services at houses of worship.

Title 24 of the Delaware Code forbids pawnbrokers to accept wheelchairs (or artificial limbs). The same law forbids scrap metal dealers from acquiring grave markers or cemetery urns without official authorization.

Title 21 of Oklahoma’s state statutes decrees that “Every person guilty of secretly loitering about any building, with intent to overhear discourse therein, and to repeat or publish the same to vex, annoy, or injure others, is guilty of a misdemeanor.”

We know it can be addictive, but the state Alcohol Law Enforcement agency says enough is enough, and bans players from enjoying the game for more than five hours at a time – unless the game is at the State Fair, held every October in Raleigh.

Back in the mid-20th century, nobody pumped their own gas. Attendants, often dressed in white uniforms, sprung to the driver’s assistance to fill the tank – and checked the oil and water and tire pressure in the bargain. Those days may be long gone, but New Jersey apparently just doesn’t trust its residents around flammable liquids. “Because of the fire hazards directly associated with dispensing fuel,” reads a state law, “it is in the public interest that gasoline station operators have the control needed over that activity,”

According to a local law, most recently amended in 1977, if Halloween falls on a Sunday, dressing up in costumes and going from door to door asking for candy is a no-no. Do it on Saturday instead, says the city. (Also, if you’re older than 14, forget about trick-or-treating, no matter what the day.)

Out of respect for religious services and those attending them, the state makes it illegal “to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.”

Title 13 of the Vermont Statutes specifies that “A person who knowingly and designedly for the purpose of competing for a purse or premium offered by an agricultural society, corporation, or association within the State, enters or drives a horse or horse kind painted or disguised…shall be imprisoned not more than six months or fined not more than $500.00, or both.”

Nobody knows where this law came from, but numerous sources maintain that it’s still on the books. Carrying your lunch in a brown paper bag is presumably okay.

Bigfoot, otherwise known as Sasquatch, if seldom seen, to he/she/it must be an endangered species. Thus, this Washington county passed a law in 1969 decreeing that killing of this elusive creature was a felony punishable by five years in prison.

You may have thought that frog-jumping contests died out with Mark Twain, but they’re still held in parts of the Golden State. If one of the frogs expires during the competition, however, state law prescribes that “it must be destroyed as soon as possible, and may not be eaten or otherwise used for any purpose.”

Title 11 of the Delaware Code reads “A person is guilty of the unlawful trade in dog or cat by-products in the second degree if the person knowingly or recklessly sells, barters or offers for sale or barter, the fur or hair of a domestic dog or cat or any product made in whole or in part from the fur or hair of a domestic dog or cat.”

Sure, we get it, you’re going out to rob or kill and you want to be as safe as possible. But Title 2C of the New Jersey Code warns you not to put on that bulletproof vest (defined as “bullet-resistant body armor which is intended to provide ballistic and trauma protection”) if you are “engaged in the commission of, or an attempt to commit, or flight after committing or attempting to commit murder, manslaughter, robbery, sexual assault, burglary, kidnapping, criminal escape or assault.”

According to Title 14 of the California Code, it’s a misdemeanor to trip a horse by “using a wire, pole, stick, rope, etc. to cause a horse to fall or lose its balance.” Besides those mentioned above, the practice is illegal in Arizona, Florida, Illinois, Maine, Nevada, Nebraska, Oregon, Rhode Island, and Texas.

It’s too bad that Tennessee has outlawed this practice, because we’d really like to see somebody try.

Probably to clamp down on illegal horse races in an earlier era, the state officially forbids horses to be ridden above this rather modest speed limit. Since a cantering horse can reach a speed of about 18 mph, if you’re an Indiana equestrian, rein in your steed.

Here’s another one that we wouldn’t have thought needed to be codified, but Title 18, Chapter 50 of the Idaho Statutes, headlined “Mayhem,” warns that “Any person who wilfully ingests the flesh or blood of a human being is guilty of cannibalism” – a crime punishable by up to 14 years in prison.

While this law is no longer enforced, it’s still on the books. Just say goodbye, already.