It’s no surprise that many consider Southerners to be some of the most polite people in the country. If you spend a day or two in a Southern state, you’ll see how differently people treat you compared to other states.
Even though Southern hospitality and manners are a common stereotype of the South, there’s a lot of truth to the stereotype. While every Southerner may not follow the unspoken etiquette rules of the South, you will find that those from the South are generally more polite and friendly.
Southern etiquette rules are a vital part of Southern culture. Many of these rules are unspoken, yet they’re widely practiced by most people who live in a Southern town or city. Some of the unspoken rules of the South may seem strange or outdated to people from other areas. However, there are many Southern etiquette rules we wish existed in the rest of the country.
Simple things like saying please and thank you or holding the door for the person behind you should be common practice everywhere, but they’re a thing of the past in many places. Not everything about Southern culture makes sense for other regions, but when it comes to manners and etiquette, those in the South know how to make you feel welcome.
To create a list of Southern etiquette rules that should exist in the rest of the country, 24/7 Tempo reviewed some of the most common Southern manners and rules from publications like Southern Living, Town & Country Magazine, and Reader’s Digest. Here are 15 Southern etiquette rules that should exist in the rest of the country. (After this article, find out if you’re making these common etiquette missteps.)
Saying please and thank you
Saying please and thank is pretty basic when it comes to manners, but you’re less likely to hear those words nowadays. In the South, you always say please and thank you, no matter who it is you’re speaking to or what position they hold. A simple please and thank you can go a long way to show someone you recognize their effort and this etiquette rule should exist everywhere.
Holding the door for the person behind you
Holding the door for the person behind you is another aspect of Southern etiquette that has become less common in other areas of the country. While someone isn’t necessarily going to let the door slam on you if you’re walking behind them, intentionally holding the door for someone and letting them walk in first isn’t as common today. If you’re in the South, you can expect someone to hold the door for you and they’ll likely give you a friendly greeting along with the gesture.
Chewing with your mouth closed
No matter how beautiful your food may have been when it was on your plate, no one wants to see it once it’s in your mouth. Many of the unspoken rules of the South revolve around food and how you should behave at the dinner table. It’s not polite to chew with your mouth open or to talk with food in your mouth. We think those manners should be practiced everywhere.
Don’t eat until everyone is served their food
Another rule that we should all practice when sitting together at the dinner table is waiting until everyone is served before digging in. If you’re sharing a meal in the South, it’s polite to wait until everyone has food on their plate before you begin eating. Instead of worrying about your food getting cold, you should wait until everyone has their food before you chow down.
No cell phones at the table or in church
People rarely go anywhere in the modern world without their cell phones. It’s even common to see friends and family staring at their phones during dinner instead of talking to the other people at the table. Another Southern rule that should exist everywhere is no cell phones at the table or in church. Everyone needs to take a break from screens every once in a while, especially when there’s an opportunity to connect with those around you.
Always RSVP on time
RSVPs may seem like an outdated practice, but if someone sends out an RSVP nowadays, it’s not uncommon for guests to RSVP late or not at all. In the South, you’ll RSVP on time if you remember your manners. No matter where you live, if someone sends you an RSVP, make sure you do it on time so the host can adequately prepare.
Offer any visitor something to eat or drink
Southerners always offer their visitors refreshments when they stop by. Whether it’s simply a drink or some light snacks, it’s impolite in the South to ask for refreshments when you visit someone’s house so you should always offer your guests a refreshment. If you’re wondering how people in the South always manage to have refreshments ready, another unspoken rule is to always be prepared for company.
When in doubt, bring food
There’s no sorrow that a good Southern meal can’t cure. Whether you’re attending a potluck, a funeral, or a church gathering, bringing comfort food is always a good idea. Although you might not bring a Southern recipe if you live in a different part of the country, it’s still a good idea to bring your favorite recipe when you go to someone’s house or visit someone who needs comfort.
Don’t cancel plans unless it’s an emergency
In a time when staying home has become the norm for many people and there are constant jokes online about the excitement of canceled plans, in the South, the expectations are different. If you’ve made plans with someone, that person typically expects you to keep your plans unless there’s an emergency. While some people may be relieved to have an unexpected night in, it’s not typically polite to cancel on someone without a good reason.
Show up on time
Being fashionably late isn’t as fashionable in the South as it is in other places. In Southern culture, it’s important to be on time when you’re attending an event or meeting someone for drinks or dinner. While unexpected things do occur and being late can happen sometimes, it’s important to respect the time of others by not consistently showing up late.
Write thank you cards
A thank you card may seem unnecessary when you can send a text message, but they’re still common in the South. A simple card thanking someone for a gift or an encouraging chat can mean a lot more than people realize, especially when most people send their messages digitally. It might be time to bring back the practice of writing thank-you notes, at least in other parts of the country.
Know how to tactfully change the subject
Most people know to avoid sensitive and controversial topics at parties or at the dinner table, but not everyone knows how to tactfully change the subject when someone says something offensive or uncomfortable. This is a skill everyone should practice so they know how to respond when someone says something outlandish at a gathering.
Tip well
Tipping has become a controversial subject as the number and type of establishments requesting tips has grown. Some people believe that tipping shouldn’t exist at all, even for bartenders or servers who make most of their income from tips. In the South, you always tip well and this should be a practice that’s common everywhere. Many of the mistakes that lead to people not tipping their servers well aren’t actually the fault of the server.
Take off your hat in the house
In most places across the country, you wouldn’t get strange looks for wearing a hat indoors or at the dinner table. However, it’s still good manners in the South for men to remove their hats indoors, particularly in places where people will be sitting down. It may seem like an outdated rule, but those in the South consider it a sign of respect or humility.
Respect your elders
Out of all the rules that still exist in the South but not elsewhere, respecting your elders is one of the most important. Southerners show those who have been around the longest the most respect. However, even simple gestures toward those who are older aren’t something you see much anymore. Whether you offer your seat to an older person or let them go in front of you in line, it’s still polite to respect your elders. (Next, check out these 30 Etiquette Blunders That Convey Rudeness.)