The Clumsiest Criminals in Film History

Source: Courtesy of Sony Pictures Releasing

Dignan from “Bottle Rocket” (1996)
> Portrayed by: Owen Wilson

Dignan’s problem is he thinks of grand criminal schemes, but can’t quite pull them off. Dignan helps his friend, Anthony, escape from a psychiatric unit where he is staying voluntarily. The two decide to go on a crime spree, but Dignan ends up in jail in the end.

Source: Courtesy of New Line Cinema

Dr. Evil from “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery” (1997)
> Portrayed by: Mike Myers

A parody of a James Bond villain, Dr. Evil plots to take over the world after being frozen cryogenically for 30 years. Like all Bond villains, he’s foiled by a suave English spy – in this case, Austin Powers. His schemes, like blowing up the ozone layer, have already been tried, so he plans to hold the world hostage for $1 million (later raised to $100 million) with a warhead from a breakaway Russian republic. Powers gets wind of his plan and deactivates the warhead.

Source: Courtesy of Buena Vista Distribution Company

Earl from “Ruthless People” (1986)
> Portrayed by: Bill Pullman

Kidnappers grab the wife of Sam, a Beverly Hills fashion tycoon, but he’d planned to kill her anyway and doesn’t want her back. Earl, the boyfriend of Sam’s mistress, gets involved in the plot, and films what he thinks is Sam disposing of his wife’s body – but it’s not. Sam ends up deciding to pay the ransom, and Earl tries to steal it, but gets arrested.

Source: Courtesy of Warner Bros.

Grimm, Loomis, Phyllis from “Quick Change” (1990)
> Portrayed by: Bill Murray, Randy Quaid, and Geena Davis

Dressed as a clown, Grimm robs a bank, getting away with $1 million with his girlfriend Phyllis and friend Loomis. Although the robbery goes off as planned, their escape does not, as the trio tries to leave New York City and gets lost in Brooklyn, robbed, and nearly shot. Eventually, they successfully flee the country on a plane.

Source: Courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox

H.I. McDonough from “Raising Arizona” (1987)
> Portrayed by: Nicolas Cage

Convenience store robber H.I. “Hi” McDunnough and his wife, police officer Edwina, kidnap a baby. The baby is subsequently kidnapped by another man and then a pair of ex-convicts. When Hi and Edwina rescue the baby and try to give him to his real father, the father lets them keep him, as he was one of quintuplet sons. Along the way, HI kills a biker who was beating him by pulling the pin of a grenade in the biker’s jacket. The kidnapped baby grows up to become a football star and Hi and Edwina are seen surrounded by children and grandchildren at the end of the film.

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