6. Bones Coffee Co. Maple Bacon Coffee
Perusing the Bones Coffee Co. product line might make your teeth ache. Flavored coffee is nothing new, but French toast, salted caramel, strawberry cheesecake, white Russian, bananas Foster, peanut butter and jelly? And, er, maple bacon? Just plain coffee boasts some of the best, most complex flavors in the world. It doesn’t need this kind of help.
7. Boss Hog’s Bacon Olive Oil
Olive oil is one of the world’s healthiest foods, full of fatty acids and other beneficial compounds, including antioxidants. Some studies have even suggested that it might help prevent cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, and Alzheimer’s. It’s the much-praised Mediterranean diet in a bottle. Introducing bacon into olive oil, even as mere flavoring, sort of seems to miss the point.
8. Chocolate Storybook Bacon Cotton Candy
Cotton candy is basically threads of spun caramelized sugar, so light that when it was invented in the late 1800s, it was called “fairy floss” (the term “cotton candy” gained currency in the 1920s). Standard pink cotton candy is flavored with vanilla, but the Iowa-based confectionery Chocolate Storybook creates more than 50 other flavors. Some of these, like banana, grape, Key lime, and pumpkin pie, seem perfectly reasonable. Others — chardonnay, margarita, spicy jalapeño, buttered popcorn — are a little more questionable. But bacon? Fatty and crispy grafted onto light and flossy? No.
9. Continental Pumpkin, Bacon & Sour Cream Risotto
Here’s a risotto no Italian has likely ever dreamed of, even in a nightmare. That’s because it’s a product of New Zealand, in a pouch. Made with “responsibly grown New Zealand pumpkins,” it is said to be a “‘go-to’ during cold winter nights.” The Continental website recommends stirring in goat cheese, baby spinach, and something called Flora Buttery Spread. At least the bacon, in this case, appears to be the genuine article.
10. The Cravory Pancakes and Bacon Cookies
Pancakes and bacon, yum. Pancake-dough cookies embedded with shards of real bacon, as made by The Cravory, a group of cookie shops in the San Diego area? Well, okay. But when the pancakes and bacon are in cookie form, you can’t very well add butter and maple syrup — at least not with any dignity — and butter and maple syrup are half the fun.